It began with a
finding yourself party.
I’m Juliana de Souza, a writer, podcast host, and mother of two. In midlife, after divorce, I wanted to make room for something of my own. I had spent so long being a mother and a wife that I had begun to lose sight of the woman beyond those roles.
One day, I joked with my therapist that I should throw a divorce party. She asked, “Why don’t you have a finding yourself party?”
That question stayed with me, and the finding yourself party is something I still intend to do. This new chapter is a chance to discover who I am now—and to keep making that discovery for the rest of my life. I am giving myself space to meet the woman I am becoming.
Rise of the Queen Phoenix grew from that wish. I was navigating perimenopause, questioning myself, and learning what it meant to be a single mother while still having desires, ideas, and a life of my own. I wanted to give those parts of me a voice.
I call this midlife transformation. There is room here for uncertainty, curiosity, and even play. I don’t need to know exactly who I will become to begin exploring.
I have always loved self-development: quizzes, reflection cards, and questions that invite us to explore our personality, our shadows, and the patterns we carry. I wanted to understand the black box inside my own brain—to see how all that equipment worked, what shaped my reactions, and what I could learn about myself.
That curiosity is part of what brought me here. My own life could be my most meaningful project. I could give myself the attention and care I had so often given to everyone else, and stay open to what I might discover.
There is an idea from Sunscreen that has stayed with me: whatever shape life takes, we remain our own lifelong company. I wanted to learn how to be good company to myself—to understand this person, care for her, and give the best of her to the world.
After my divorce, I knew I wanted a life with room for more than bitterness and resentment. I wanted to see beauty in life again. Beauty is essential to me: art, thoughtful conversations, small acts of care, and the kindness that makes an ordinary day feel worth getting up for.
I have always believed in lifting people up. In my own darkness, I needed that same warmth and encouragement. That is the kind of environment I want to create here: a place where we can be honest about what hurts, find beauty, and help one another grow.
Sometimes this phase feels like another adolescence—full of questions, changes, and unfamiliar feelings. My hope is that women who come here feel reassured and less alone. We can give ourselves time, care, and room to change, like a butterfly slowly unfolding its wings.
Through conversations with friends and podcast guests, I began to see how many women were asking similar questions. We needed a place to connect, hear from people who had been there, and find the courage to grow without feeling so alone.
The more we talk with different people, the more perspectives we open up. A guest’s experience can help us see life from an angle we had never considered. We learn something new, question an old assumption, or become open to a possibility we could not see before. Those conversations enrich my life, and I hope they enrich yours too.
For me, that exchange is a kind of transformation and healing. We bring what we have learned, listen with curiosity, and allow what others share to bring out something good in us. There is always more to understand—about ourselves, one another, and the world.
That is the heart of Rise of the Queen Phoenix: a place for deep talks, thoughtful questions, and ideas that help us transform and evolve. My hope is that the care we find here travels beyond the conversation. As we lift one another up, we raise our collective spirit and help make this earth a kinder place for everyone.
Juliana de Souza · Author & podcast host
